you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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