we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
