what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
