So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
