So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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