he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
