Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
