i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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