dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
