I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
