and you said cock pushups were impossible
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
