I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
