If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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