I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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