So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I smell like Dick and happiness
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
