Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
