And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
