My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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