Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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