just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
