so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
