it hurts more in the daytime
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
