I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
