No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
