you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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