Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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