Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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