the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
