Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
