if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
