It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
