I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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