Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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