so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
