Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
