So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
