i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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