doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
