This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Boobs are out for the taking
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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