it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
