maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
