Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
