I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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