oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have feelings that need drinking.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
