your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
