Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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