All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
