Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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