GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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