Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
